Come On In … Hunny!
We are assuming that if you are, in fact, Here, then you already KNOW who the Sweet Potato Queens are because you read The Book. That’s how you found the website – by reading it in The Book.
If, as a matter of fact, you have NOT read The Book, but rather learned of this website through some unknown, but no doubt devious, means, then stop right now. Go directly to How To Order and order your own personal copy of The Sweet Potato Queens’ Book of Love and sit yourself down and read it.
We don’t care if you move your lips when you read or even if you trace the words with your finger, as long as you read it for yourself. Do not go about Masquerading as One Who Has Read the Book and do not think for one second that we are going to give you any information at this site that would assist you in this subterfuge. We do not intend this site to be some sort of cyber-Cliff’s Notes for your lazy ass.
We are here to Sell Stuff…
We will offer the odd bit of Unsolicited Advice and perhaps an occasional comment on current events, but really we just want to Sell you some Stuff. We think the Stuff will Amuse you, Brighten Your Day, Distract You from Your Woes, just generally Induce Chuckling All Around.
We don’t care. I mean, I guess you could say that we are Happy for You to experience all those things or we would certainly be if we ever gave a thought to Anybody Besides Our Selves but, there you have it – we don’t … think about Anybody Besides Our Selves.
We might, if thinking about Our Selves wasn’t so Time Consuming. At any rate, for the sake of discussion, let’s just say that We are Happy that our Stuff is going to make you a Happier, Better Person, but what we are really interested in is how Happy you are to Part with Your Money. If there was sound on this thing, you would hear me singing a perky little tune right now about how we want your money! we know you’ve got some! give it to us! by the boatload! lalalalala and so on and so forth.
…So buy lots and buy often.
And you can feel good about where your money is going, too. It is my Solemn Pledge to you that every single penny you send us will be spent in the Relentless Pursuit of Our Own Aggrandizement and Comfort. No high “administrative” costs will eat up your precious contribution to Our Cause – which is, as I stated, Our Own Aggrandizement and Comfort … we do have a fund for Plastic Surgery – but only the Essentials.
Thank you so much for visiting us and for all your many purchases. If you are ever in Jackson, Mississippi, we’ll just be Highly Insulted if you don’t come by and let us give you a glass of iced tea and a big ole kiss right on the lips. Come right on back here and see us soon and bring yer mommer ‘n’ em. We’ll have new stuff you can’t live without all the time.
– H.R.H. Jill Conner Browne, THE Sweet Potato Queen