Posted October 28th, 2009 by Jill Conner Browne
Ok, don’t come crying to me about this–I have been TELLING YOU FOR MONTHS to GET YOUR HILTON ROOMS and now they are O-fficially Gone. This is the Word from the Man, the Keeper of the Rooms at the Hilton, Billie Burns hisveryownself, so it’s the Truth. HOWEVER, all is not lost–you can still come and be VERY, VERY CLOSE to the Hilton, right across the street at the very finely remodeled CABOT LODGE. Hopefully, you will pay attention to me now and book THESE rooms, before they, too, are snatched out from under you!
HERE ARE YOUR INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO GET A ROOM AT THE CABOT LODGE:
Call THIS NUMBER–601-326-0739 and ask to speak to LAYLA CARPENTER–she will take good care of you. If you have any problems, let me know–BUT ONLY IF YOU HAVE FOLLOWED THESE INSTRUCTIONS FIRST. If you try any other method of getting a room and fail and whine to me, I’m gonna tell you to do what I just said but I’m gonna be REAL CRABBY about it. PAY ATTENTION AND MIND ME–it’s important.
If you have gone off willy-nilly and booked rooms somewhere else without checking with me first–send me an e-mail so I can tell you exactly HOW FAR AWAY you are going to be if you stay there. I tell you these things FOR A REASON–to make your visit as pleasant and easy as it can be so it’s really irritating when you ignore me and book rooms out by the airport or in the next town and then can’t understand why you can’t walk to the Hilton!
I know there are a bunch of y’all who come every year and stay way far off and just do your own thing and have a great time–and I’m happy for you. But I’m telling you this for a fact: YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE MISSING AT THE HILTON! Go check out the Parade Page on www.sweetpotatoqueens.com and think seriously about coming to play with US this year–you will be soooo glad you did!
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Posted October 20th, 2009 by Jill Conner Browne
OK, that subject line is misleading at best! Mama, ARF, and Blair E. Batson Children’s Hospital have absolutely no need for your bras—but the American Cancer Society and a whole bunch of women DO need ‘em and I’m doing my best to help get another billion bras for the 2nd Annual Bras Across The Mississippi Spectular! But I’m ahead of myself—big surprise.So, one thing at a time here: First of all, On behalf of my sweet Mama and my whole (mostly) sweet family, let me thank you all for your wonderful, heartfelt and uplifting notes of condolence. I am reading each and every one—but it’s gonna take me a WHILE!
Thank you especially to all who have given to the Animal Rescue Fund of Mississippi in honor of Mama—she would be so pleased. She was always taking in “strays” of all species and “HOME” was everything to her. At ARF, these poor cast-off creatures receive not only safe shelter for as long as they may need it, they also receive HUGE amounts of daily LOVE—and that makes it “HOME” and therefore, sacred.
Rankin County, Mississippi has never before had a “no-kill” animal shelter and thanks to our very own Queen TammyPippa and her Spud Stud Charles Jackson—ARF is now a reality and your gifts are helping with this wonderful work. CLICK HERE TO DONATE.
Many of you have written that you loved Mama’s obit—it has apparently gone “viral,” which would tickle her no end although she’d have no idea what that meant. Please feel free to pass it around—I’d like everybody to have a little time with Mama. I wish you all could have been at Mama’s memorial service—it was a true celebration. CLICK HERE to read it on line.
BIG LOVE AND THANKS to all who voted (repeatedly) for our precious chirren at Blair E. Batson Children’s Hospital to win the ultimate gameroom makeover from Xbox 360! I am thrilled to tell you that WE WON! Out of all the hospitals in the CHILDREN’S MIRACLE NETWORK, we had enough Batson votes to finish in the TOP 3—and so OUR CHIRREN will be getting the coveted Xbox 360 gameroom and we are over-the-moon excited and grateful. Many of you from other states kindly threw your votes our way when it became apparent that your own hospital was not in the running. Stars in Your Crowns for that!
Here’s how you can help your home state’s Children’s Miracle Network Hospital
For Free
Contact them and tell them that I will come speak at a fundraising event for them—FOR FREE. If they pay my travel and accommodations, I will waive my usual speaker’s fee, AND I will donate one of my BIG, GIANT, CUSTOM MADE (by Larry Vrba) CROWNS to help with the fundraising efforts. ANDBarefoot Wine & Bubbly will donate wine or champagne, assuming it’s legal in your state! It’s a FABULOUS & FREE opportunity to HEP YOUR CHIRREN! Just have he Public Relations Director at your Children’s Hospital contact Kyle and they’ll sort out the details.
Here’s how you can help ALL the Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals
Also for FREE!
Just CLICK HERE TO VOTE FOR DONNY OSMOND to stay on Dancing With The Stars. There are folks donating Big Bucks to the CMN for every week that he stays on the show—so VOTE FOR DONNY and HEP THE CHIRREN—EVERYWHERE!
Now, for the BRAS! Remember last year when our Queenly DJ Jan Michaels of Q105 FM here in Jackson wanted your bras to string across the Mississippi River in Vicksburg? Well, she and Riverwalk Casino have teamed up once more—and for every bra we give them, Riverwalk Casino will donate $1 to the American Cancer Society. We’re hoping for more than 10,000 bras this year—so go commando and send us your bras! (We love RiverWalk for this so if you’re gonna go to V’burg-go see THEM!)
Those bras in good shape will go to Women’s Shelters. We don’t like to think about it, but many times when women finally DO leave their abusers—it’s in the middle of the night with nothing but the clothes on their back. We do NOT want them going BACK because they forgot to grab a bra! Your bras will go to very good use and they will also help us raise awareness for the fight against breast cancer—which we MUST AND WILL WIN.
We’ll be stringing the bras up over the river on NOVEMBER 5, so the deadline for receiving bras is next Friday, OCTOBER 30—get ‘em in the mail to:
Jan Michaels, Q-105 FM—Clear Channel Radio, 1375 Beasley Rd., Jackson, MS 39206
If you need more info, call 601-982-1062. Check out last year’s event by CLICKING HERE.
GET OUT YOUR KLEENEX NOW—you’ll need it by the end of this, I promise.
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and there are countless events, memorials, walks and runs all across the country and that’s a beautiful thing. There is not one person on this Earth who has NOT been affected by this wretched disease and whenever we participate in these events, it’s always with Someone Special in mind. You might be a Survivor yourself, you might have Walked that Walk with a family member or beloved friend—they might still be walking with you—praise God—or you may now be walking in their honor and memory.
I WANT YOU TO ADD THIS NAME TO YOUR LIST—whenever you participate in any of these events from now on—please put the name VALERIE J. at the very top.
As Mama was dying, we received regular visits from her precious Hospice Nurse. One day, Marie came in looking very haggard and weepy. I asked her what was up. She said she had been at the Hospice facility since 3:30 that morning—with a 19-year-old girl—dying of breast cancer.
That little girl had been diagnosed with breast cancer at 15 (fifteen)! And being, for unknown reasons, estranged from her family, she had gone through this entire process—from diagnosis to chemo and radiation and surgery—and finally, death, at 19—ALONE. She had no friends. She had no family. She didn’t even have a wig. She had the magnificent nurses and staff of Hospice Ministries but other than that—she did ALL OF IT—ALONE!
Think of the horrific cancer experiences you’ve had or witnessed—as an adult, with adults—now imagine that you were a 15-year-old girl and ALONE. Imagine, God forbid, it was your own daughter.
PLEASE put VALERIE J. on every t-shirt, poster, and Balloon Release you participate in for the rest of your life—and make a space for her in your heart, too. And when somebody asks for a donation to fight breast cancer—GIVE—whatever you can—even if it’s just your old bra—and REMEMBER VALERIE when you do. Thanks.
If you live in the vicinity of Odessa, Texas, when you quit crying over Valerie, mark your calendars forFriday, 6 November—because I’m coming over to play with y’all at the Junior League of Odessa’s Annual Merry Marketplace and I will be expecting to see you there!
Here’s where to get ticket info: Junior League of Odessa, Texas, Lindsey Burroughs, Special Events Coordinator – Merry Marketplace 2009, lindsann2003@hotmail.com For Tickets Call: 432-332-0095.
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Posted October 19th, 2009 by Jill Conner Browne
WhooHoooo! Thank y’all soooooo MUCH for heppin’ our chirren win one of these fancy X-BOX ROOMS at Blair E. Batson Children’s Hospital in Jackson, Ms.! It took a whole heapa votin’ and y’all prolly coulda/shoulda been workin’ a lotta that time–but thanks! And even bigger thanks if you actually used your OWN time for sitting there, waiting for the screen to load! That’s REALLY a sacrifice–and our little chirren send you a BIG OLE KISS AND A HUG AROUND THE NECK! I’M JUST SO EXCITED, I COULD BUST!!!
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Posted October 15th, 2009 by Jill Conner Browne
https://xbox.childrensmiraclenetwork.org Go to this site–you do have to sign up before you can vote which will take you all of what? 15 seconds?–DO IT. And then VOTE for BLAIR E. BATSON CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL IN JACKSON, MS. You can vote 10 times before the deadline–so get busy! I’m sorry I haven’t been nagging you about this before now–been distracted by My Own Issues but this is for OUR CHIRREN!
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Posted October 2nd, 2009 by Jill Conner Browne
Anybody who knows and loves us–will totally “get” this and love it and know that MAMA would love it. Anybody who either doesn’t know or doesn’t love us will no doubt be scandalized–and you should just TRY to IMAGINE how LITTLE we care! Here is her obit:
Janice “Jan” Louise Wendt Conner, wife of the late and much lamented John A. Conner of Ethel, Mississippi, died peacefully at the Lake Caroline home of her favorite daughter Jill Conner Browne on Wednesday, September 30, 2009.
Mrs. Conner grew up in Grosse Pointe, Michigan, the daughter of the late Mr. & Mrs. Walter Wendt. As a young woman, her statuesque beauty won her a spot among the models at the John Robert Powers Agency but her mother disapproved of that career and so she became a buyer for the J.L. Hudson stores. During World War II, she and many of her friends worked tirelessly at the USO, where she met the only man she ever really loved, her sailor boy, John Conner.
She became a devoted Southerner by choice when she finally defied the wishes of her mother (who was by all accounts and evidence, the Meanest Woman Who Ever Lived) by marrying and following “that hillbilly” back to Mississippi, where they lived happily until Mr. Conner’s untimely death in 1982, after which Mrs. Conner never gave so much as a thought to another man.
The Conners’ home was a haven for all the children in the surrounding neighborhoods, having a wide-open, fully-stocked kitchen, a refrigerator full of Cokes and the only swimming pool for miles around. (It should be noted that the 20’x 40’, 7 foot deep hole for this pool was personally dug, with picks and shovels, by the two of them. If you’ve ever tried to dig even a small hole in Yazoo clay, the extent of the Conners’ devotion to their children can be extrapolated from that endeavor. It should also be noted that this pool was the pet project of Mrs. Conner and there was no peace for Mr. Conner until it was completed. He might have initially thought that she would be discouraged when she saw firsthand how difficult the digging proved to be—one of the many but more significant times He Was Wrong.)
They were active members of the Alta Woods Presbyterian Church where they, for more than 50 years, provided thousands of cookies as Sunday bribes to the children of the church.
Mrs. Conner’s daughters, the aforementioned Jill and that other one, Judy, were finally sources of pride for Jan as they both became bestselling authors. It did remain a lifelong disappointment to her, however, that neither of them ever chose to pursue the career she would have preferred for them: writing messages for greeting cards.
Both daughters give much credit to their mother for spending countless hours reading to them until they finally started reading for themselves. Mrs. Conner also taught her grandchildren to read and to love it. Blessed be her name for that.
Jan’s only two grandchildren—Trevor Palmer and Bailey Conner Browne—were born 23 years apart; thus, each was able to enjoy the many benefits of being “the only grandchild,” a position both exploited to the fullest and with great felicity to all parties.
Mrs. Conner was well known in her younger years for adopting families in need and browbeating them into prosperity via the many donors she “persuaded” to join the effort and her relentless and most often successful attempts at placing them in gainful employment—often without any particular desire or willingness on their part. She would and often did give “the shirt off her back” to someone; but, if her own didn’t happen to fit the need, she had no qualms about obtaining, by whatever means necessary, the more suitable shirt off someone else’s back. Her daughters dreaded the annual Christmas Flooding of the town of Flowood, knowing that the pantry would be emptied and their own closets would be raided, in support of the victims.
Jan Conner was an advocate of the homeless—be they human or otherwise—long before it became fashionable. She never passed a panhandler without giving him something (along with an admonition to “go eat something”) and she never turned away a hungry creature of any species. She basically, over time, stole the neighbor’s non-descript brown dog, Rascal and was somehow able to elicit from him that, although before moving in with us he had considered himself fortunate to get a dab of dog food now and again, all he truly liked to eat was chicken livers and that furthermore he only liked them fried very brown and crispy. Rascal ate crispy brown chicken livers every day of his 10 years with us. Whenever Jan left town, it was only after giving John strict instructions on How to Cook the Chicken Livers for the Dog, lest he (the dog) suffer in her absence.
To this day, Mrs. Conner’s entire family has an inordinate fondness for Brown Dogs.
Mrs. Conner is widely known as a world traveler as she frequently arranged group trips, which she sometimes guided or at least herded. A most interesting aspect about all of Jan’s travels was her high and constant level of disdain for Other Countries, or at least all of Europe. She did love a cruise, though—any time, anywhere—which accounted for her enjoying 50 or so of them. As much as she disparaged all of Europe, she loved Alaska and anything west of Hawaii. All things Asian were wonderful to her and she made numerous trips to the Far East.
The latter years of her life were spent joyfully at The Waterford on Highland Colony with her many friends, especially the rowdy bunch on the Second Floor North. She declared that living at the Waterford was “like being on a cruise, every day.”
Since 1999, no St. Paddy’s Parade was complete without the lead car carrying “The Queen Mothers of the Sweet Potato Queens®” and while she shared this title with dear friend and fellow Queen Mum, Caroline Hewes of Gulfport, it cannot escape attention that Jan always rode in the front seat.
Jan is survived by the aforementioned favorite daughter, Jill Conner Browne and husband Kyle Jennings, and that other one—Judy Conner Palmer of New Orleans—granddaughter Bailey Conner Browne of Oxford and grandson Trevor Palmer and his wife RuthAnna and their daughter Riley and sons Conner and Mason, of New Orleans.
The family wishes to lovingly thank Barbara Whitehead for her devotion and support to us all and to Marie Fenton of Hospice Ministries for her sensitive care to Jan and to us.
No flowers please, Mrs. Conner was allergic. Because of Jan’s lifelong propensity for taking in strays, be they four-legged or two, she would love for you to make a very generous donation in her name to the only no-kill animal shelter in Rankin County—Animal Rescue Fund of Mississippi, founded by Sweet Potato Queen Elizabeth (Pippa) Jackson, located at 1963 Holly Bush Road, Pelahatchie, Mississippi 39145 or www.arfms.com.
There will be a mercifully brief and joyous Memorial Service on Monday, October 5, 2009, at 5:30 PM, at Wright & Ferguson on Highland Colony Parkway, Ridgeland, followed by Celebration of a Life Beautifully Lived and a Very Fun Reception, until around 7 PM.
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Posted September 30th, 2009 by Jill Conner Browne
I am in AR as emergency fill-in speaker for Komen–must speak to 600+ people in 2 hours–& my Mama just died. We’ve had her home, in our room with us, for months with hospice care, so not “surprise”–but still… My Mama is gone. God’s Timing is Perfect & Mama is healed. Pray that I can make this speech for Komen & that God will be glorified by it. I thank God for all the time with Mama–even the hard times–& I thank Him for taking her Home. I’m sure she waited for me to leave & God brought me here today for a Reason. Just lift me up–believing all that I do, it is still unbearably hard.
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Posted September 28th, 2009 by Jill Conner Browne
Kelly Corrigan, breast cancer survivor and author of the besteller, THE MIDDLE PLACE, was scheduled to speak this Wednesday at the Pink Ribbon Luncheon for the Komen Foundation in Northwest Arkansas–but she’s had an emergency and cannot make it–so they called me and so off I go! Happy to help, glad they thought of me! I am sure it was that darlin’ editor of AY MAGAZINE, Angela Thomas, who thought of it–you know I write a monthly column for her, right?
Here is the scoop, in case you’re in the area:
Pink Ribbon Luncheon Holiday Inn Convention Center in Springdale, Arkansas (it’s close by Fayetteville)
For Ticket Info:
Alison J. Levin
Executive Director – Ozark Affiliate
Susan G. Komen for the Cure
479.750.7465
alison@komenozark.org
BORDERS Books will be there selling my books–and hopefully, Kelly’s as well, although she won’t be there to sign hers. But, as you know, I am happy to sign anything, even stuff I didn’t write–so, if you want me to, I’ll sign her books for her and we’ll all pray her back on the road again real soon!
Y’all come if you can–and if you can’t–just send ‘em $$–breast cancer is EVERYBODY’S problem. Actually, if you are out there somewhere and have never in any way been personally affected by breast cancer–I really hope YOU can come–on account of, I ain’t never met no aliens from outerspace!
And I’M STILL WORKING ON THE GATOR HUNT/SQUEALIN’ REPORT! Mama is not always just what you’d call REAL COOPERATIVE when it comes to lettin’ me work!
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Posted September 25th, 2009 by Jill Conner Browne
I swear–I am in Madison County, MS–where I have been for the last umpteen years. DO NOT SEND MONEY TO ANYBODY IN NIGERIA–OR PAKISTAN–CLAIMING TO BE ME! As if I don’t have ENOUGH problems–sick Mama, etc.–NOW I’ve got some yay-hoo on the internet, claiming to be me–even spelled my NAME right–which NEVER HAPPENS with people I am legitimately doing business with–and claiming to be renting out, really cheap, this great house that I used to own and live in. They’ve got photos INSIDE the house even–CREEEE-PY.
The FB & I guys are all over it, of course, but in the meantime, I have been getting all manner of phone calls from people wanting to know if I have, in fact, moved to NIGERIA and/or PAKISTAN to do MISSION WORK and I only want to rent my house out to someone “God-fearing”–who is not only that but who is also willing to wire large sums of money to me in Nigeria and/or Pakistan.
The poor realtor who actually owns the house now and who is trying to rent it gets nothing but phone calls from people about the fraudulent internet ad–so they’re pretty happy, too. Let me say this: it is a fabulous house in an unbelievable location and we loved every second of living there–if you’re looking to rent a house–this is the ONE–you will LOVE IT but ONLY rent it from the real estate company, with is located in Jackson, Mississippi.
But if you just woke up this morning wanting, for some unknowable reason, to send money to ME–well, then, my ACTUAL ADDRESS can be found on MY website and I am always happy to receive free will offerings (although, truth be told, I’m still waiting to receive my first one)–but my mission work is on U.S. soil, totally.
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Posted September 14th, 2009 by Jill Conner Browne
For years, we have laughed at the idea of a LOTTERY to determine who “wins” the right to go out, in a boat, in a swamp, in the middle of the night–often in the pouring rain, to ON PURPOSE–LOOK for an alligator and then try to GET HIM INTO YOUR BOAT while he is still alive and chompin’ and TIE HIM UP. DUUUHHHH. Well, we “won” this year. And we have two boats in this deal–the Hunters and the Squealers. I will be the Captain of the Squealers.
The Cutest Boy in the World is no longer a Virgin Gator Hunter–he went out Friday and Saturday night this past weekend–while I was in Colorado–and he appears to have had quite a Large Time. Even got a Battle Scar–when they were haulin’ in a big one, one of the giant treble hooks popped out of his hide and into Kyle’s–NOT GOOD. There was a doc on the team though and he treated it and called in Major Antibiotics–after a 3:30 a.m. consult with the chief pharmacist at one of the hospitals. Fabulous Guy Crap–they were all totally jazzed by the whole prospect of his arm rotting off without their Immediate Intervention. Call them Dr. House. (His Mama will NOT be pleased to hear this story–plan to hold it over his head for a lifetime.)
Hunters and Squealers begin hitting town on Thursday–Scott is already preparing food. I told him NOW is the time to make 15 dozen aigs–the Troops will be hongry. Adrenaline burns billions of calories–and clouds of mosquitoes will literally drain us dry–we need Provisions! Wish I could have brought the Camel Dung cookies home from Colorado–and I guess I could have done so–had I not crawled into bed and EATEN THEM. (Recipe coming to you soon by way of Queen Satin.)
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Posted September 9th, 2009 by Jill Conner Browne
Somebody asked me today what I thought about the possibility of a tax on stuff that contributes to obesity, etc. and then the whole “sin tax” question and naturally, I refused to have a serious discussion about it but I did give it a lot of thought.
Well, of course, I don’t have any problem with taxes on cigarettes and crap–because I don’t personally USE those things. I only want taxes on things that don’t affect me–lots and lots of taxes on those things. Bacon should be tax-free, though. And chocolate. They can tax the shit outta Wendy’s and Taco Bell–just about any fast food place. Except for places that sell chocolate milkshakes because I need a lot of those. So if they sell chocolate milkshakes either make those tax-free or give the whole place a tax exemption, I don’t care, as long as it doesn’t affect me.
Let’s see–they can tax porn–I don’t use that. Definitely a HUGE tax on vehicles with sound systems that belong in a stadium. They can tax tattoos–but not plastic surgery. Tax crack–but not Xanax and Valium and Percoset. Absolutely no tax on birth control–any form–actually, make it all free–big sacks of it on every corner. Tax baggy pants if underwear and/or buttcracks are exposed. Tax tank tops on any guy outside a gym and any woman over 40 unless she has good arms or she’s mowing the yard.
Tax those fake balls on trailer hitches. I saw some stainless steel ones the other day–or possibly aluminum–cheap bastard–big tax on those.
What would you tax?
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