WHOO-LARD! IT WAS JUST TOO GOOD!

Posted March 24th, 2009 by Jill Conner Browne

HEY–SPONSORS!!  THANK YEW SOOOOO MUCH!  Could not have done it without y’all!  FIREFLY SWEET TEA VODKA, SOUTHERN BEVERAGE/MICHELOB ULTRA, COMCAST, MON AMI SPA AND LASER CENTER, CAPITAL BUSINESS CENTER, BAREFOOT WINE & BUBBLY, CLEAR CHANNEL RADIO, Q-105 AND JAN MICHAELS, JACKSON COCA-COLA AND OF COURSE, THE HILTON–BIG KISS ON THE LIPS TO ALL OF Y’ALL!!!

I cannot believe the Parade Weekend is OVER!  How can it go by so fast?  I swear, it’s worse than Christmas–it’s soooo much fun but then it zips by and we have to WAIT A WHOLE YEAR before we get to do it again!

If you weren’t here–or just want to relive it–here’s a link to about 7 different videos of us!  http://www.wlbt.com/Global/category.asp?C=163196&nav=menu119_2_2  Also on the www.wlbt.com site, you can go to WALT GRAYSON’S LOOK AROUND MISSISSIPPI and see the latest edition about US!  

It was just beyond beyond–that’s all I can say.  This was by far and away the biggest and best yet.

Thursday, the Hilton was already nearly full and we all got on the trolley and went to the fancy Renaissance Center for great shopping deals, free food and wine and BIRTHDAY CAKE!  Plus, These Days with Jewel Bass were performing outside and it was a GORGEOUS afternoon.  One of the highlights of the day for me was when Fifi dropped her shrimp on the feet of the Mayor of Ridgeland.  Yet another proud moment of Queenliness that we will always treasure!

On Friday, at the Big Hat Luncheon at Bravo! I met my Way Weird Queens who performed their most touching ceremony of bowing to me while shrieking that wild, high-pitched “lalalalalalala” cry–and they did it every time they saw me all weekend long.  I love them.  A lot.  The food was, as always, fantastic (but bring back the homemade “tootsie rolls!”) and the weather, once again, was perfect so we had a great time inside the restaurant AND outside in the courtyard.  I always love it when Outsiders just happen by Bravo! on that day–and it’s literally COVERED UP in Queens in full regalia.  Their FACES are just priceless–shock and awe pretty much covers it.

Friday afternoon at the Everyday Gourmet, we turned our two favorite TV personalities, Barbie Bassett and Stephanie Bell Flynt, into SPQ’S right there live on the teevee (you can see that in those links above)–and they turned out to be WAY TOO CUTE so we are totally done with THEM!  Stephanie is also a new member of our SPQ SECURITY STAFF–all of whom are way too cute and I swear, I am going to make them dress up like the Winged Monkeys next year.  Young and Cute is simply not to be tolerated.

Friday night–the SPQ Ball at Hal & Mal’s–what a proud night for ME.  See, we have this long-standing SPQ joke and tradition, that I wrote about in one of the books, where when THESE DAYS play MUSTANG SALLY, we all yank our shirts down or up and show the band leader, our much-beloved Raphael Semmes, our voluptuous bosoms.  He’s always pissed because we have on bras but he’s happy for whatever we’re willing to show him.  So, we’re on stage with the band and of course, MUSTANG SALLY is always the very next song they go into after we appear–because Raph wants His Treat–and so of course, I oblige him.  Of course, NO ONE TOLD ME MY IN-LAWS WERE IN THE AUDIENCE.  Who KNEW that Mom and Dad would go to the BALL???  And of course, I didn’t discover this until way after the song–after I had “treated” Raph not once but SEVERAL times during the course of the song.  I’m still glowing with pride.  To their immense and never-ending credit, neither Mom nor Dad mentioned it to me.  And thank God, my OWN Mother never goes out at night!

I did not AfterGlow–but I’m told that MANY of y’all did.  A woman called me on Thursday afternoon and wanted to know if that was a BALLOON GLOW.  I was nearly speechless.  I mean, have you read ANY of my books?  Do I LOOK like I’m throwing a Balloon Fest here?

The Parade was stupendous–never been so many people AT it or IN it and it was GLORIOUS!  The Wedding came off with a few hilarious glitches in front of the Governor’s Mansion.  Cleric Allen “Sparky” Payne (that famous guy) of New York City, formerly of Neshoba County, Mississippi, nearly outshone the bride in his flowing pink cap and towering gold hat.  The Pope himself has never looked so fine.

My high school “ClassyMates” outdid themselves in blue and gold splendor.  They marched directly behind our float and if anybody had any more fun than they did that day, I don’t know who or how!  The rest of the Wingfield Class of 1970 needs to get off their asses and come play with us next year–but they’ve got to suck up to Lynn Woods and her Chapter to do so–THEY are the TOTAL BOSS QUEENS OF THE WINGFIELD HIGH CONTINGENT–FOREVER!  Debbie Glenn was spectacular in her outfit–and she wins some kind of special Genius Award for the addition of GOLD DEPENDS to her ensemble.  Yes, she showed them off with great (and justifiable) pride.

Right after the Parade, we went back to the Hilton for the very fine and also FREE barbecue they had for us.  Baby Jan and the Earth Angels were rockin’ as usual and from the packed dance floor,  you’d never know y’all had partied all night the night before, gotten up and marched a couple miles in a Parade!  I was so proud!  Did anybody get any of the wedding cake??  I saw it and it looked great–but I never got any of it!  George had his own Proud Moment when he walked into the barbecue wearing his really cute pink t-shirt that says, “VAGINAS ARE WEIRD”–and there sat Kyle’s parents.  George looked like he was going to faint.  I told him, in front of them, “Don’t worry about it–I showed my tits on stage last night and they’re still here.  And besides, vaginas ARE weird–but hey, so is Y’ALL’S STUFF, so we’re all cool here.”  And precious Mom and Dad just laughed indulgently, as they always do.  God, I love them.

Jell-O Wrasslin’–what can I say?  

 I have never seen so many people so happy about being submerged in green Jell-O!  And so willing to pay for the “privilege!”  Between that, and shaving Tom and Charles’ heads, and The Cutest Boy in the World’s Cutest Ass in the World prancing around in that ORANGE THONG–we raised over $10,000 THAT DAY BY THE POOL!  That is TWO of those wildly expensive tilt-in-space wheelchairs for Blair E. Batson Children’s Hospital!  $1700 of that was stuffed in the thong after just one trip around the pool!  

So it was a TRIPLE CROWN WEEKEND for Doing Embarassing Stuff in Front of Your Parents–we had my tits, George’s t-shirt and Kyle’s essentially nekkid be-hind–all on display.  Whee!  But when we say ANY-THANG for the CHIRREN, by golly, WE MEAN IT.  

The FIREFLY SWEET TEA VODKA PEARLS & PJ’S party with the Bouffants from Memphis–how were not only still ON our feet but DANCING on them?!  Because we are QUEENS and this is OUR WEEKEND, that’s how!  We were about an hour late giving away the MON AMI SPA BIG ASS CROWN–because y’all were still buying tickets and I was not ABOUT to stop THAT process!  We had a suitably enthusiastic winner Queen Earlene from Dallas–and about 900 other pissed off losers!  Which, naturally, made the win even sweeter for Queen Earlene!

At the Bathrobe Brunch, we got to hear a preview of the actual Angels sing–when Lelon Thompson and Baby Jan thrilled us (and filled me with envy, since I STILL CANNOT SING)–and God love her, Jamie Ward just ignored the searing pain in her injured elbow and played away on that grand piano to accompany them.  I spoke a little bit and we laughed and cried and then Queen Candalicious gave us a bodacious Benediction and our beloved Kacey Jones led us in our closing hymn–NEVER WEAR PANTIES TO A PARTY.

As I said, I still can’t believe it’s over.  But it’s looking like we raised about $25,000 for the CHIRREN and I cannot thank y’all enough for that!  We’re already planning for next year!

PLEASE E-MAIL ME AT HRHJILL@SWEETPOTATOQUEENS WITH ANY INFO YOU THINK I NEED TO HAVE–STUFF YOU LIKED, STUFF YOU DIDN’T LIKE, WHAT WORKED, WHAT DIDN’T, SUGGESTIONS OR REQUESTS FOR NEXT YEAR.  YOUR INPUT IS INVALUABLE TO US.

I can already tell you this–THERE WILL BE MORE BUSES ON PARADE DAY NEXT YEAR!  We were overwhelmed with the numbers this year.  We had sold X # of passes in advance–and planned for buses based on that #–and then a whole nuther billion of y’all bought passes when you got here–which was great–but it did overtax the bus system we had in place!  So, our apologies for that–but we are On It for next year!