BITCH PENALTY BOX–for the CHIRREN, of course!
Posted March 5th, 2009 by Jill Conner BrowneQueen Cherisse, my fellow Tigah fan, sent me a GREAT IDEA: Whenever she and her girlfriends take a trip together, they have a Bitch Penalty Box and whenever one of them feels moved to speak or act in a Bitchy Manner, she must put a quarter in the Bitch Box. It is not uncommon for a participant to immediately stuff a TWENTY in the box–to PRE-PAY for all the Bitchiness she plans to perpetrate during the trip! All the money is then spent on some entertainment for the group–we will, of course, give all of our to Batson. I think this could be a REAL CASH COW FOR THE CHIRREN, don’t y’all? I mean, not naming any names or anything, but I HAVE heard tell of quite a FEW episodes of Bitchiness at Past Parades. GEORGE is actually KNOWN as the “Parade Bitch!” We will prolly be able to buy the chirren one of those very fancy wheelchairs just on George’s infractions alone! Thoughts?
31 Responses to “BITCH PENALTY BOX–for the CHIRREN, of course!”
March 5th, 2009 at 9:19 am
I’m in for a cool $20.00 Just in case Mad-Wife Disease strikes me early, and I’ll have a free pass.
March 5th, 2009 at 9:26 am
He’s prolly gonna have to ante up hisownself! Just in case he should DARE to RESPOND to any of your alleged bitchiness!
March 5th, 2009 at 10:09 am
I’ll see that bet, and double it on account of the distinct possibly BRIDEZILLA disease may rear its ugly head. She’s already practicing her Queenly Cussin’
March 5th, 2009 at 10:21 am
Oh, the sweet little chirren are gonna be sooo happy that there are sooo many bitches coming to Jackson!
March 5th, 2009 at 10:35 am
I just took out a loan. All of the children in America will benefit…….
March 5th, 2009 at 10:45 am
Can we get a pass where we can just pay a flat fee and be as bitchy as we want? Kind of like the $5 pass for the stripper pole.
March 5th, 2009 at 11:11 am
YAY!!! Anything to help the chirren.
Hell, I think I owe already just for thinking of some of the things we’ll say and do in Jackson.
March 5th, 2009 at 11:25 am
Oh Cherisse… this is going to be one lucrative Bitch Box!
March 5th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
I think we should charge DOUBLE if we hear any bitchin’, whinnin’, and general poor mouthin’ ’bout the freakin’ economy. We ALL know it sucks — if I want hear about it, I will turn on the dang T.V. Our slogan shall be: Pay up or shut-up! When you got chirren’ who can’t afford wheelchairs you shouldn’t oughta’ be whinnin’ and expecting me to feel all sorry for you cause you can’t come to Jackson because of the daggum economy. Maybe you should have thought about the chirren’ before y’all blew all that money on that deluxe, pre-lit tiara!
Oh, Lawd. I just read that. I think I am gonna’ need one of them weekend passes George was talkin’ about, or I am gonna’ have to put a second mortgage on the house. You’re right. This thing is a cash cow.
March 5th, 2009 at 8:18 pm
My chillren know when I turned 50 yrs old,that I earned the right to cuss,drink and be a bitch ….AND I will gladly hand over my fifty……Bitch box corner starts here…..
March 5th, 2009 at 8:18 pm
damn fifi. i just spit out perfectly good wine.
March 5th, 2009 at 8:23 pm
Way I feel today, I’d be a one queen stimulus package for the Bitch box.
March 6th, 2009 at 7:23 am
I am still waitin’ to be Stimulated–check the mailbox ever’dangday–and NO CHECK! What is UP? I definitely think we will be needing a GET OUTTA THE BITCH BOX FREE PASS for the Weekend–as well as the Weekend Pole Pass. Y’all can’t be hauling sacks of QUARTERS around all weekend. You’re liable to get REALLY PISSED at somebody and start WHACKIN’ ‘EM WITH YOUR SACK OF QUARTERS and we can’t afford the $$ or the TIME to come bail your ass outta jail for Assault with a Deadly Sack of Quarters. Better to let you pay in advance for the privilege of UNLIMITED BITCHING ALL WEEKEND–so you don’t get PENT UP and start whackin’ your fellow Queens–who, though you love them, sometimes irritate the crap out of you.
Y’all are gonna be covered up in PASSES–Weekend Pass, Pole Pass, Bitch Pass! What next??!! Don’t know but can’t wait to see!
March 6th, 2009 at 11:53 am
I know a lot of women who’d pay ten bucks to own a pass that says, “FREE PASS” so they could say or do or be whoever/whatever they want for 48 hours. That would be so liberating…and ten bucks is way cheaper than therapy…trust me, I know!
March 6th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
Just tell me where to send my check! I will be needing a pass or a punch card or something, just being home and knowing what I am missing makes me a little cranky.
March 6th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
deb – we miss you!!!
March 6th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
I miss you too!! I have declared Friday as tiara day at work just to get a little bit of that sparkle back into my life.
March 6th, 2009 at 7:59 pm
Whew! I was afraid for a minute there that you were going to have a swear jar.
March 6th, 2009 at 8:50 pm
Good GAWD! I’m gonna hafta get a 3rd job. Thanks ALOT.
March 6th, 2009 at 9:04 pm
What would really be nice is an actual “Bitch Box” where we could actually lock up some bitches…
March 6th, 2009 at 9:16 pm
Love the ‘Bitch Box’ idea – reminds me of the jail where you could lock up those elementary school friends at the fair looooong time ago! But isn’t the whole weekend that . . . hmmm. Maybe there should be a combo pass for pole dancing and bitchin but instead of being a discount to get the package deal is costs more just so we can be ourselves . . . for the chirren!
March 6th, 2009 at 11:49 pm
aw, hell. I thought you were talkin about an actual penalty box, like in hockey. See somebody exhibiting public assholery? shove em in the Bitch Box and make ‘em pay through the nose to get out. Or other peeps could pay more to shove ‘em back in if they really deserve it.
I may have to institute that at the office.
March 7th, 2009 at 7:06 am
The Bitch Box–for actually locking up actual real-live Bitches–is an EXCELLENT idea–I will run it by Kyle and George–but I’m not sure that A) we can afford that much lumber and B) that there would be ANY ROOM LEFT in the LOBBY if we built one big enough to hold alla y’all!
Kim–If you swear AT or ABOUT somebody else, you will be assessed a Bitch Penalty. Just random flinging about of curses, swears, epithets, etc. is TOTALLY FREE.
March 7th, 2009 at 10:07 am
If you outlaw sarcasm I am gonna’ have to file Chapter 13.
March 7th, 2009 at 7:51 pm
HRH JoJo–If you are willing to PAY for the privilege of sarcasm–we are willing to charge you for it–FOR THE CHIRREN!!
Deb–checks should be made to Blair E. Batson Children’s Hospital and sent to me at 161 Pembroke Circle, Madison, Ms. 39110. You can indicate WHERE on Martha Jean you would like your tatts installed, too! However, you should know that checks are coming in, real estate is being snatched up–we may find ourselves in an OVERLOAD situation–in which case, ANOTHER VICTIM WILL BE SELECTED and she WILL SERVE.
March 9th, 2009 at 5:56 pm
Check’s in the mail.
March 10th, 2009 at 5:44 am
Lawd lawd lawd – I better go the credit union…….
March 10th, 2009 at 10:51 am
Oh, I’m just tickeled pink..can we use Visa for the bitch box….guess I better get a cash advance before I come
Hey Jojo, I am still coming by myself and may take you and Phyllis up on that offer to hang out with you all!! I tried to email you but can’t get it to go through!
March 11th, 2009 at 6:19 am
Of COURSE you can use VISA for the BitchBox–just not for a quarter at a time! You’ll have to buy a BITCH BLAST PASS in the SPQ store for $5 and it will be SOOO WORTH IT!
March 13th, 2009 at 8:15 pm
April- We’ll keep an lookout for you.
March 18th, 2009 at 10:25 am
The Dirt Road Divas, Inita Goodwin and Helen Bedd, are headed to Jackson tomorrow for our FIRST parade driving a Corvette procured by The Promise! All this Bitch Box talk is making me think we need to raise money along the way for the chirren… Any bitchin’ about our drivin’ ? You can tell us if you talk to the Box first!