SORRY SO LONG NO BLOGGING! SORRY NOT MUCH FUNNY!
Posted July 11th, 2009 by Jill Conner BrowneSome folks come here and not to Facebook so y’all may not be aware of all the Near-Misses we’ve had with Mama lately. I swear, she is AT Death’s Very Door–and she just keeps turning around and coming back. Yesterday, she was nearly comatose all day and I had a long talk with her, because I know she can hear me, and I told her that God’s Timing is Perfect and we are trusting that. I said we are taking care of you AS IF you will be here with us for the next 30 years–but if you’re tired and want to go on Home, that is fine–told her not only had she done her job, she’d done a DAMN FINE JOB and we would be right beside her, every minute, just relax and we would follow her cue. Told her we were even thankful for these most recent days–although sorry for any physical suffering she has had–that we counted the opportunity to care for her so completely as a JOY and a privilege–thankful for the chance to in some way repay ALL she’s done for us and that it was kinda like having a baby–a lotta work, but total joy–and she smiled and nodded.
After that, I just sat, in the near darkness of her room (lights bother her)–sat right by the bed and held her hand–told her I wasn’t leaving. An hour may have passed and suddenly, out of the dark silence, came a voice! It said, “LET’S SIT UP AND EAT!” It was Mama. I couldn’t have been much more surprised if it’d been an Angel or a spider monkey. So, I sat her up and fed her–actual food as well as mucho dessertos–and then Kyle came back and she wanted to GET UP OUTTA BED and sit in her wheelchair and feel her feet on the floor! So we did THAT!
Then she was ready to sleep so Kyle put her back in the bed and we tried to sleep too. I actually did a pretty good job of it until I got the worst charley horse in the history of legs in my right calf. Kyle said Mama had awakened HIM 3 times during the night: once for a back rub, once for a drink of water–but she made him search until he found the RIGHT SIZE water bottle to suit her (?) and the last time, she called him over and said something he couldn’t hear–never knowing if she’s got something Important to Say to Us, he leaned in and asked her to repeat it so she did. She said, “I’M THE BIGGEST.”
So, yeah, even as dark as these days have been–we ARE having a FEW laughs–and, I am having a LARGE CHOCOLATE MILK SHAKE EVER’ DAMN DAY! Many, many thanks for all your good thoughts and prayers. much love, jill
12 Responses to “SORRY SO LONG NO BLOGGING! SORRY NOT MUCH FUNNY!”
July 11th, 2009 at 9:47 am
Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family right now. And lots of Chocolate Stuff.
July 11th, 2009 at 9:49 am
As you often do, you made me laugh and cry at the same time.
Love you big time.
Kimmy
July 11th, 2009 at 10:07 am
Holding on to the good wishes. May God continue to give you all the strength and serenity you need.
July 11th, 2009 at 10:08 am
The other day, it was really bad–Mama not having good day, Bailey back in Bad Relationship and I had a STYE on my eye–I told somebody I was just waiting for the Plague of FROGS and BOILS. I mean, what NEXT? How bad CAN life get?! I will need detox and Weight Watchers–or a lap band!– by the time this is over!
July 11th, 2009 at 10:09 am
you are a wonderful daughter and your mama must be so proud. praying for you and yours all the time.
jane schmitt
July 11th, 2009 at 10:11 am
Oh thank God! I have been praying for your Mama like she was mine, and I’m gonna keep on. No one has to wonder where you get your strength and character from.
Having done plenty of beside sitting myself with Granny and her sisters, I know how comfy those couches can be. What was more fun was sitting with my cousin Val when her Granny (my grandaunt) was in the hospital. Aunt Cora didn’t have a roommate and the nurse told us of we wanted to crash in the bed to do it. Val climbed in and started crying. Being the older of the two, I started tellin her everything was gonna be ok and in the middle her her cryin jag she said, crawl up here with me. We are not now, nor ever been, small chicks. So there we were, to big ol healthy girls cooned up in a hospital bed. It’s been almost 15 yrs, but we’re both convinced was the most uncomfortable night either of us have ever had, but we were together and we were with Aunt Cora and that’s all that matters.
God bless you, the family & your Mama!
July 11th, 2009 at 10:13 am
This is such a precious time. Say whatever you need and want to tell your awesome Mamma. You will never regret it. I lost my Mom when I was 28 years old…it’ll be 11 years on Wednesday that God got an angel with a beautiful voice to join him. I don’t regret that hand holding, heart telling time with her for a moment. In fact, I cherish every memory of it. God Bless you and your family.
juliet
July 13th, 2009 at 8:28 am
I am just sending you love… you’re in my thoughts and prayers and I can’t bear to think of you having anything that hurts right now. So be there in the good stuff and when your mama whispers that She’s The Biggest, know that she means she’s the biggest in the contest of being loved and giving love… that’s what I believe in my heart she was trying to say.
Catherine
July 13th, 2009 at 6:36 pm
Jill, thank you for sharing this difficult time with us. Thank you for being such good therapy, both with the tears and with the smiles. Your experiences are such great life lessons – laugh as much as possible and when the going gets tough, hunker down and get as close as possible to the ones you love. Thank you for your perspective, for opening your heart, and for recognizing the queen in all of us. It makes SUCH a difference.
Maria
July 13th, 2009 at 9:36 pm
You’re so right it is a blessing to enjoy. I wish everyone would that could take care of their family. It makes for lighter loads and the gift you get in return is priceless. CBITW is priceless and you of course. Hug Janice so tight for me and let her know we thank God everyday she and your darling Daddy had ya. I know she’ll get better at home. Take care. heart.
July 14th, 2009 at 9:04 am
Well Jill, as you are such an inspiration to me it sure is nice that I can send some Mighty Big prayers and lots of LOVE to you..Tell Mamma I am hoping she gets to feelin better soon..I know its hard for you having lost your Daddy before, but You and Judy have brought such joy into folks lives with all Y’alls FINE writin that we sure do appreciate it..Much love to You and Remeber to us southerners its a local call to God!
July 14th, 2009 at 10:00 am
You are so sweet to tell her all those wonderful things. I know it is so hard and so easy, all at the same time.